HISTELEC NEWS No.31 December 2005

  1. Jolly Good Christmas?
  2. Annual Luncheon
  3. Cairns Road
  4. Insurance
  5. SWEB Chronology
  6. MET Office
  7. Nuclear Lobby
  8. Gas Association
  9. Fuel Cell
  10. New Museum Acquisition
  11. Garrad Hassan/Wallace & Gromit
  12. Montacute Visit In The Summer
  13. Control Room Closing Party
  14. TeraWatt.Hours
  15. Electronic Award
  16. Electricity House
  17. Sussex-By-The-Sea
  18. Visit To Met Office & EdF
  19. Christmas Lights
  20. Trouble At Bowhays Cross
  21. LCD Flat Screens
  22. Steam Visit
  23. Members News
  24. Shades Of Candid Camera
  25. Sunshine Power
  26. Funny Flu
  27. Christmas Joke
  28. From The Cracker

Supplement to Histelec News No.31 "ELECTRICITY IN BATH 1890 – 1974" (Part I)

Next Edition

Please send information, articles, photographs or letters to Peter Lamb at 35 Station Road, Backwell, Bristol BS48 3NH or telephone on 01275 463160 or

HISTELEC NEWS No.31 December 2005

Jolly Good Christmas?

I hope everyone had a good Christmas with their family and that no-one was left on their own. Traditionally the festive season is a time for relaxation for some and hard work for the cooks. Happy New Year to one and all.

Peter Lamb

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Annual Luncheon

Please find accompanying this newsletter, a notice for the Annual Luncheon. We are going back to the Bishops Court Hotel at Torquay, where we had a successful luncheon two years ago. Some of us stayed there overnight and thoroughly enjoyed the hotel's hospitality. Our speaker this year is Richard Paine, ex-Financial Director of SWEB amusing us with tales of privatization.

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Cairns Road

Recently our Chairman has been beavering away building more suitable entrance way for our Cairns Road premises using decking from a well-known DIY firm. The contraption was taken to site on a sunny day in October and installed with the help of Chris Buck and John Gale. So we have a very smart (and safer) set of steps up to the entrance in timber.

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Insurance

John Gale has found a suitable public liability insurance policy for use at Cairns Road, so now we are covered for anyone visiting the premises – that's a relief! The insurance is for a limited number of days per year, so we may be able to open the Museum more frequently than once a month and/or entertain groups there more frequently.

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SWEB Chronology

Following the interest shown when issued last year, this has now been updated with the errors corrected and the suggestions added including details of CCD. The corrected version has been posted on our web site.

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MET Office

We were overwhelmed with members wanting to go to the Met Office. The Met were very fussy in limiting the numbers to fifteen so your Secretary booked the afternoon as well which doubled the numbers to 30, which was slightly increased to 2 X 16 = 32 and still we had 26 more people wishing to go. But the sad news is that the Met Office won't give us another slot next year.

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Nuclear Lobby

If the French can do it, so can we? France produces 77% of its electricity from nuclear power and electricity is its biggest export. Following all the lobbying the Prime Minister appears to be bending under the pressure. Are we to see Mr. Blair "jumping into bed" with M. Chirac? Some research recently has shown that nuclear power is competitive if gas and oil prices are high. It was even suggested nuclear is cheaper than off-shore wind-farms.

It is obvious from all the reports that we are heading for a big energy gap. The hyped-up wind farms and other renewables are not going to be sufficient to fill the gap created by the closure of nuclear and fossil-fuelled power stations. I read that Britain will need 50GW of capacity over the next 20 years. It would be necessary to install 200MW of capacity every month to achieve that – wind and wave are never going to match it! To satisfy the 20% cut in CO2 emissions by 2010, nuclear has got to be there.

If people are concerned about the siting of nuclear stations in the UK, one has only to look across the Channel at the EdF stations along the French coast. May be residents of the British South Coast resorts, being downwind of these, should be more concerned. But on the other hand, if the French can live with it, why can't we?

Peter Lamb

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Gas Association

The Gas Association, which was the inspiration for setting up our own organisation was dissolved last year. Their archive, known as the Dr Harry Knabb Archive, has been given to the Bath-at-Work Museum, where the archive had most recently resided. A healthy sum has been donated to the Museum from the residual funds.

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Fuel Cell

A new company CERES, which has been spun out of research at Imperial College is developing a fuel cell so small that it can be fitted into a domestic boiler instead of the pilot light. The makers claim that the use of this fuel cell will save carbon dioxide emissions by up to 50%.

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New Museum Acquisition

A Servis washing machine 1950's vintage (white goods) has been added to our collection following an offer from a lady in Bath. John Heath and Roger Hughes gallantly went forth to Bath to collect it one Monday morning.

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Garrad Hassan/Wallace & Gromit

In the last edition you may remember reading about the Wind Turbine consulting engineers, Garrad Hassan & Ptners of St. Philips, Bristol. Well they have been in the news again. Their premises happen to be in St. Vincents Works Offices, which are the grade 1 listed old Lysaghts galvanising factory H.O. in Silverthorne Lane. I visited the premises on "Doors Open" day in September to view the fabulous tiled interior (Doulton). Well worth a visit.

The reason they were in the news is that they are situated adjacent to the 1840's store building, purportedly built by Brunel, which burned down with the Wallace & Gromit past plasticine collections inside. There was concern that the tiled interior of the adjacent building may have been damaged, but I believe not.

Peter Lamb

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Montacute Visit In The Summer

On Saturday 21 May twenty-six members and guests descended on the small Somerset village of Montacute, meeting for coffee at the TV and radio museum. Following refreshment, everyone was free to roam the museum which houses a vast collection of old radio and TV sets as well as other associated memorabilia. Many of these old radios were from a time when their design, in the form of highly polished veneered wood cabinets, focussed perhaps more on appearance as a piece of furniture, rather than the electrical contents. A glance at the tuning dials reminded one of the days when transmitting stations were indicated by location, e.g. Vatican City, Hilversum, Athlone, Droitwich, etc. Even Clevedon was spotted on one dial, recalling the visit a year previously to Williton (Washford Cross) when mention was made of the Home Service West programme being broadcast from Clevedon. It was also interesting to learn from the proprietor that he has plans for turning the front part of the museum into a mock-up of a SWEB shop, so perhaps a further visit in a year or two will rekindle further memories.

Following our trip down memory lane, we adjourned to the King’s Arms, a short walk away, with great expectations for lunch. Unfortunately, for some the main course proved to be a test of the sharpness of their teeth! Unfortunate since a previous reconnoitring visit had shown the food to be a good standard. The added problem of slow service meant that we needed to make a quick dash back down the road to Montacute House in time for our pre-arranged conducted tour organised by the National Trust. Our group was split into two parties, each with a guide to take us on a tour of the house. The history of the house was explained and much information given about the pictures and furniture. The highlight of the tour was the long gallery on the top floor where important Elizabethan and Jacobean portraits, on loan from the National Portrait Gallery, are displayed. Following our tour, members were free to continue roaming the house and visit the formal gardens. A number of members were later to be found in the tea room partaking of a well-deserved ‘cuppa and cake’, following an enjoyable day.

Chris Buck

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Control Room Closing Party

After a period of 40 years the Sowton Electricity Control Room closed on 19th June 2005 bringing to the end Control Rooms in South West England. During this time the Control moved form its original location at the corner of Moor Lane to a purpose built room inside the Sowton Office Block in Osprey Road. Initially the Control area covered the SWEB Exeter and West Devon Districts. Within a few years they expanded to cover the Torquay District and the Plymouth District Control was also transferred to Sowton. Following the transfer of ownership of the 132kV network to SWEB, the Control transfer in the South West was delayed for a while as it had been operated as an active and interactive network in conjunction with the remaining generation and 400kV network. This transfer meant learning new skills and was a major change in the way Control worked at that time.

With the introduction of the SWEDAT Telecontrol system it was deemed that the Cornwall Network could be controlled from Sowton. Pool control closed. Around the same time the Somerset Group Control was transferred to Bristol (Avonbank) resulting in a further saving. Only two SWEDAT operational Computers were required. SWEB were also able to take over their own 132kV studies, which became much simpler with 400kV reinforcement.

With the sale of the non-operations sections of the company (including the SWEB name), the Sowton Office block was leased to the EDF Group with the exception of the Control Room. When EDF vacated the site it left the Control as the only section of the offices in use making sale difficult. The adoption of the NMAN system meant that far less room was required to house the Control facility and the whole WPD Network could now controlled from Lamby Way in Cardiff, South Wales.

To mark this closure, staff and former staff from the four area controls gathered together on 18th June 2005. This event demonstrated the close-knit community that had worked in the Control Rooms over many years, many on shift duty- now termed as 24/7, a full shift.

David Hood

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TeraWatt.Hours

Reading renewable energy articles the other day I came across the term TWh and was immediately stumped. I contacted the IEE and was told it stood for Terawatt.hours, that is a thousand, million KWh or another three noughts on Gigawatt.hours. All part of the MKS system, which of course I should know!

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Electronic Award

A south west company based at Stoke Gifford north of Bristol, Phyworks has won a prestigious award for its integrated circuits, the European Electronics Industry Award. The firm specialises in optical network semi-conductors.

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Electricity House

Royal, Sun Alliance Insurance have agreed a date for visiting what was Electricity House on 16th February. As reported in the last issue it is now called West Gate.

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Sussex-By-The-Sea

On the evening of the last Friday in September, 31 members and guests assembled at The Beach Hotel, Worthing, for our sixth weekend event. Some had travelled a day earlier. The rest of us had battled with the Friday traffic but all had arrived safely. Following dinner we were treated to some home entertainment. Our chairman, Roger Hughes, first showed some slides of a trip to China, following which a sketch was presented with two grumpy old men (aliases Peter Lamb and John Haynes) comparing times present with times past. The evening concluded with a hilarious musical item done as a clever take-off of the committee members.

Beach Balcony
Members on the Beach Hotel balconies in the sun
Saturday morning dawned dry and sunny, a pleasant change from the day before. For the first time we were able to appreciate the sea front location of our hotel with most of us having seaview bedrooms. Our coach arrived to take us on the short journey along the coast road to Brighton. En route we passed through Shoreham-by-Sea, where one of the new breed of gas fuelled power stations was spotted adjacent to the harbour. Passing through Hove the former SEEBoard HQ at Queen’s Gardens was identified by those in the know. This surely must have been the best located of the former Area Board HQs, a grand building with sea views from all the front offices (possibly a hotel prior to acquisition by SEEBoard?). Royal Pavilion We were soon in Brighton and deposited close to the very ornate Brighton Pavilion. A conducted tour had been arranged and our guide proved to be very knowledgeable and provided an excellent commentary. She explained the history of the Pavilion, which had begun life as little more than a modest farmhouse. John Nash had transformed it into the present pavilion at the behest of Prince Regent, later George IV, who enjoyed Brighton. However, Queen Victoria did not share the same enthusiasm for the resort and removed all the contents to London. The building was left empty, and later purchased by Brighton Corporation. Much of the original contents has been returned to the Pavilion, now restored to its former Chinese splendour. It has the distinction of being the only palace in the ownership of a local council! Indian architecture inspired the exterior design.

Goldstone Pumping StationOur party split for the afternoon, with a group going the short distance by coach to the British Engineerium at Hove, whilst the remainder did "The Lanes" of Brighton. The Engineerium is housed in the original Goldstone water pumping station, opened in 1866, and contains two magnificent beam engines (memories of a visit some years ago to Blagdon Pumping Station). One beam engine has been restored to full working order. Unfortunately we were a day too early since a boiler had just been lit in readiness for steaming the following day. We toured the former workshop, which now houses a large collection of models of assorted steam engine models, and then wandered through the pumping station at leisure. This monument to the grandeur of British mechanical engineering in times past was eloquently summed up when a notice was spied on the door of the current workshop declaring it to be a ‘metric-free zone’!

Amberly MuseumWe were all re-united for the return trip to Worthing. After dinner we were entertained to an electrifying talk, in more ways than one, from John Narborough, curator of the Seeboard ‘Milne collection’, to be visited the following morning. John explained the history of the Seeboard museum (now under EDF sponsorship) and showed a number of items employing the powers of electricity for all sorts of medical remedies. Today some might say that there’s nothing like a good shock for curing constipation!

Brighton09.jpg - 74818 BytesSunday again dawned bright and sunny and we were soon en route by coach again, this time in the opposite direction, making for Amberley Working Museum, where the Milne collection is housed. We were welcomed by John and taken to the far end of the site on an open-top vintage Southdown omnibus, where is housed the Milne collection, comprising many early domestic appliances as well as a range of distribution switchgear and other items. John gave us a brief conducted tour and laid on a demonstration of high voltage sparks and bangs generated from various electrostatic machines and a Tessla coil. As those present will testify this, quite literally, proved to be a somewhat hair-raising demonstration.

Brighton02.jpg - 126316 Bytes Following a lunch stop at a nearby hostelry, we were soon at Arundel Castle for our final visit. The Castle, founded in 1067, is the seat of the Howard family (the Dukes of Norfolk). It has a grand interior, reflected in its furniture, tapestries and paintings. The armoury is one of the few remaining collections in private hands. The Barons Hall contains an outstanding collection of 16th century continental furniture. The 12th century curtain wall and battlements give the castle a very imposing setting. We were free to wander the castle and grounds at our own pace, before returning to meet up with our coach for the return to Worthing. Following dinner we were entertained to a musical quiz courtesy of John and Janet Coneybeare, with John playing a few bars of each tune on his saxophone for us to identify. As the quiz progressed it was seen that the tunes followed a system (which you might expect from a former planning engineer!) with the titles running alphabetically. With this revelation the quiz suddenly became a little easier for some!

Following breakfast on the Monday morning most of us departed for home, leaving a select band to spend another day in the area. Many thanks are due to our secretary, Peter Lamb, and John Heath for undertaking all the organisation for the weekend, which proved to be most enjoyable and a great success.

Chris Buck

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Visit To Met Office & EdF

On a Friday in October two visits were organised involving two parties 16 in each limited by the Met Office. The first party to visit EdF were met by David Hole and his wife bravely waiting for us at the entrance barrier in the rain, to make sure we had parking space numbers to gain entry. (The other party went to the Met Office first and got different speakers, Ed)

  • EdF Energy

    We were welcomed by Mike Davey, head of customer service for major consumers of EdF throughout the UK and some other places. Mike gave us a very professional presentation about EdF globally, and about the role of the Exeter office.

    EdF is a state controlled company with a monopoly of all aspects of electricity supply in France. We were surprised to find that EdF operates in 29 other countries and has a very large presence in the UK. EdF owns large power stations including Cottam and West Burton and has interests in land based off shore windfarms. They own the distribution systems of the former Eastern, London and South Eastern Electricity Boards, making a contiguous system covering a quarter of the UK.

    On the supply side they own the following brands of EdF Energy, London Energy, Seeboard Energy and SWEB Energy. It is possible that these brands will be merged as EdF Energy at some time, although there is a residue of loyalty to the SWEB brand. Mike noted that EdF have made an enormous investment in the UK and are here for the long haul. The company also emphasises its care for its employees and provides excellent facilities. This contrasts fairly sharply with other foreign buyers of UK electricity assets. Globally EdF has an annual turnover of about 50 billion Euros, which makes it a very big company indeed.

    We were taken on a tour of the building seeing the various areas concerned with service to domestic customers throughout the UK, major customers on standard tariffs and major customers with individual terms. We were able to admire the staff facilities – canteen, break-out areas, shop etc.

    Lunch was taken at the Cat and Fiddle Inn, Clyst St Mary. The pub staff managed to serve everybody quickly and the food was good for the money.

  • The Met Office

    Sam Hyde welcomed us to the Met Office with cup of coffee and biscuits and gave an informative presentation in a light and amusing manner. After taking Charles Darwin on his great scientific voyage in the Beagle, Vice-Admiral Robert Fitzroy RN was commissioned by the Board of Trade in 1854 to set up an office to provide meteorological and sea data to the marine community to make sea travel safer. In 1914 Lewis Richardson conceived the idea of forecasting weather conditions by applying formulae to observed conditions. He further surmised that it may be possible to advance the computations faster than the weather advances.

    The Met Office now observes conditions from hundreds of sources including, its own ground based and aerial weather stations, balloons, satellites, ships, met offices in other countries etc. The simple formulae of early years have been developed into complex models of weather systems embracing the whole globe. Supercomputers like the Cray and latterly the NEC SX6 perform almost unbelievable numbers of calculations in a couple of hours to produce the forecasts. As the number of observations increases, the weather modelling becomes more sophisticated, the computers become faster, and the forecast periods can be extended with improved accuracy.

    The military value of weather forecasting has always been appreciated so it is not surprising that the Met Office is part of the Ministry of Defence. However it is required to run in a manner similar to a commercial enterprise with the MoD as the most important customer.

    There are many other customers and applications.
    • BBC Meteorologists trained at the Met Office
    • Commercial organisations acquire data from the Met Office and sell on their own forecasts.
    • Weather forecasts used to predict electricity demand. Severe weather warnings are used to ensure resources are available when needed.
    • Special forecasts are prepared for farming and shipping.
    • Supermarkets use weather forecasts to ensure that stocks of things like ice cream and umbrellas are adequate.
    Sam suggested sales of loo rolls were linked to hay fever forecasts! Less well known is that in 1984 the Met Office was designated as a World Area Forecasting Centre (WAFC). They produce global forecasts used by all aircraft flying above 26,000 feet. The only other WAFC is in the United States and either can cover all the world.

    In 2003 the Met Office moved from Bracknell to their impressive new accommodation in Exeter. In a short tour of the building we were able to peep into the operations centre producing global, local and aircraft forecasts, the Hadley Centre for research, and one of the two independent computer complexes.

  • Postscript

    This morning was fine with some sunny periods, but by teatime it was pouring with rain. The forecast given by the Met Office, was exactly right and I was able to plan the day working in the garden earlier, and sitting here at the computer writing this report while it rains.
John Coneybeare

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Christmas Lights

The other day I happened to be at our main road shops (A370) and chatted to guys erecting Christmas lights. I asked them how they separated the supply for the street lamp and the Christmas decoration. They said they had a special GIZMO!! What ever is that, I asked? It turned out to be a unique control device designed by the firm, so that the Christmas light can be "On" between 3.30pm and midnight, whilst not interfering with the solar cell control of the street light. The firm WRS Electronics from Yatton are to be commended and so are seeking a patent.

Peter Lamb

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Trouble At Bowhays Cross

Sometime in 1962 the telephone rang at about one o’clock in the morning. After thinking it was part of a dream, I realised that it was in fact the real telephone so went downstairs to answer it. It was my boss Mr F C Hampton. He told me that the work I had commissioned the previous day had blown up and that I should be at Bowhays Cross at 9am. He had arranged for the group standby engineer (Mr Ward) and a fitter (I think Eric Cartwright plus mate) to be there. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep after the telephone call, I just wondered what could have caused the problem.

A few months earlier I had joined SWEB Somerset Group as a 3rd Assistant Engineer (protection and control), Mr Hampton was the 2nd Assistant in charge of the Protection and Control Department.. Bowhays Cross 33/11kV substation is near Williton in West Somerset. A brick built building housed the 11kV switchgear and transformer control equipment.

My job there was to change/commission the Cts (Current transformers) on, if I recall correctly, the transformer 11kV OCB (oil circuit breaker). The actual fitting was done by Fred Tipper, a district fitter, who incidentally lived in the house at the substation.

The 11kV switchboard was Ferguson Palin and the replacement Cts were dual ratio, but were unusual in that they each had four secondary terminals. On commissioning, I was concerned that the spill current was rather high. I telephoned Mr Hampton (we were all Mr in those days) and told him that I thought the spill current was rather high but was happy for the circuit to be switched back.

The following morning at Bowhays Cross, the inside of the building was covered in soot and there was the usual electrical fire smell. Fred Tipper, the fitter, was naturally concerned, as it was he who had done the installation. When the OCB was racked out, I must admit to being relieved to find a charred mouse on the floor. As was normal practice, and called for on the drawings, the red and blue phase 11kv connections to the Cts were covered with tufnol putty and tapped with PVC tape. The yellow was uninsulated having no putty and tape. The mouse presumably liked the taste of tufnol putty but managed to touch the yellow conductor. From that day on, I have always insisted that the yellow phase is insulated.

I cannot recall doing anything further to the Cts. The protection had operated correctly. It was even suggested that I had brought the charred mouse. No doubt the substation still retains an electrical fire smell and some soot remains. One wonders if current visitors know why.

This story relates to an incident over 40 years ago and is written from memory. I naturally believe the account to be correct.

Charles Farr

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LCD Flat Screens

We saw so many new flat screen monitors on the desks in the Met and the EdF offices, so I asked Marcus to explain the new technology.

LCD's

Liquid Crystal Displays are now the second most common type of display. Invented in 1971 and based on Liquid Crystals discovered over 100 years ago they have been in use on digital watches and calculators since the mid seventies. Colour LCDs are now common on new mobiles and cameras, just two of the ever-growing applications. It is foreseeable that the importance of LCD will be increased dramatically with the fast popularity of Flat Panel Displays

I will attempt to convey the way these LCD devices are constructed and how they work. At the top there is a polarising filter and one from the bottom above the fluorescent light source there is another, which is 90 degrees out of line with the top one. Without any items between the two filters no light would be visible from above, due to the orientation of the filters.Exploded TFT

Next to the top there is a colour filter to provide the necessary Red Green and Blue colours for the display - three colours for each pixel. Below this is the Liquid Crystal container, which consists of a translucent solid top and bottom with a vacuum filled space between into which the Liquid Crystal is introduced. The inside top of the container has grooves in the same orientation as the top polarising filter and the inside bottom has grooves in the same direction as the bottom polarising filter.Liquid Crystal Arrangement This causes the crystals to arrange themselves as a spiral between top and bottom of the container. The light from source beneath is modified itself by this twist pattern of the crystals and moves through 90 degrees and is now in line to emerge through the top polarising filter.

The top of the LC container forms an electrode and each colour pixel has its own electrode in the bottom of the container. Voltages applied will distort the shape of the twist and the relative strength of the coloured lights can be varied from no light to full light. The voltages are controlled by the Thin Film Transistor layer immediately below the LC containing capacitors and transistors. The voltage signal is in the form of an AC square wave causing high speed switching of the light.
Marcus Palmen
A more comprehensive comparison of display technologies is available on the Retired Professional Engineers Club Web Site and can be reached by clicking here

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Steam Visit

On 26 November a group of members visited “Steam”, the museum of the Great Western Railway at Swindon. This fascinating museum is not just about trains; it tells the story of a whole community, the Swindon Railway Works. At its peak the Works employed more than 14,000 people. The collection contains everything from complete locomotives, a small station to fascinating small artefacts like the artificial limbs the Works made for injured workers. You can stand in an office and listen to a worker being told off by the boss for being late!

The museum, which is housed in one of the old Railway Works buildings, also explores the development of the GWR – for example, the story of the navvies who built it. We discovered that they drank a gallon of beer a day, and spent a total of £1000 on alcohol per mile of track layed!

We were lucky enough to visit on a day when a number of retired drivers, guards and other “Servants of the Railway” were there to show us the exhibits and tell us their stories. An excellent visit, with a chance for some Xmas shopping at the “Designer Outlet” shopping centre next door.

Paul Hulbert

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Members News

David Lane is still working even after leaving WPD. He has been working for Elexon. He reports that he has been working in Jordan - sounds exciting! Elexon are wanting electricity memorabilia to decorate their London offices and we are hoping to provide this service for them.
Harry Cardy His wife Vera had a serious operation, but is recovering well.
David Hole has attended a committee meeting once again, so is making superb progress after his heart attack.
John Haynes has got connected to internet.
John Heath has been back in hospital with some problems and we hope he will be better by the time you read this.

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Shades Of Candid Camera

As a SEEBoard student apprentice in the late 1950’s I was training with the Dover District Engineering Dept. One day I was told to go with an Engineer and a fitter to do some maintenance in an underground substation in Pencester Street in Dover. This was the main bus terminus in Dover so crowds of people. Having fenced round the cover and opened the s/stn up the Engineer tested for gas and found that there was methane type gas full up to the cover. What now I asked!

The Engineer then made the fitter get a bucket and a rope and left him, his mate and me to spend the day lowering the bucket into the substation, waiting and then lifting it back out. We then carried the apparently empty bucket over to the gutter and poured the gas out. The gas level gradually dropped and by the end of the day it was clear ready to do the maintenance in the morning.

As a young apprentice I was very embarrassed at the observations made by all of the people passing by to catch their buses. These days they would certainly suspect a Candid Camera type of trick.

Peter Collard

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Sunshine Power

I read that the total power of the Sun falling on Earth is equivalent to 353,000 barrels of oil per day, which is a thousand times more than the World's daily oil usage!

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Funny Flu

Smiling is infectious you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too, I turned around a corner and some one saw my grin, When he smiled, I realised I had passed it on to him,
I thought about that smile, then realised it's worth,
A single smile like mine could travel around the earth,
So if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, Let's start an epidemic quick and get the world infected.

Submitted by Ken Edwards

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Christmas Joke

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
“I think it is raining”, he said.
“No, it felt more like snow”, she replied.
“I am sure it was rain”, he said.
“Let’s not fight about it”, he said, “Let’s ask Comrade Rudolph.
“Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?”
“It’s raining of course”, he replied.
Still his wife argued and finally the husband said,
“Stop this arguing, Rudolph the Red knows rain, Dear”.

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From The Cracker

Q. How did Noah see the animals in Ark at night?
A. By arc lamp flood-lighting of course!!

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